A short time ago in the Nederlia office,
not that far away…
...a group of TechSpotters gathered together
to share their predictions for the latest film
in the mighty Star Wars saga,
The Last Jedi.
Since the trailer for The Last Jedi was released in October, rumours have been flying faster than a fleet of TIE Interceptors.
Is Snoke really as big as his hologram? Will Rey and Ren team up to defeat him? Most importantly - what is a poorg and where can we buy a cuddly miniature replica?
We’re seriously busy in the run up to Christmas, but that hasn’t stopped us rewatching all seven Star Wars films (and a lot of YouTube conspiracy theories).
As an early Christmas present to you all, we’ve encrypted our favourite predictions and put them into the resident Nederlia droid TS40-41 for safe keeping. Just kidding :)
1. There will not be a Last Jedi.
The line of old Jedi will end with Luke, but there will be a new breed of grey Jedi that blend the dark and light sides of the Force. In the trailer, Luke asks Rey what she sees, and she says “light, darkness, a balance.” Are Rey and Ren two grey halves of a whole? Will they team up to defeat Snoke? The fact Finn was a Stormtrooper and uses a lightsaber could be another hint of the new grey in-between.
2. Supreme Leader Snoke is actually tiny.
We have no idea who Snoke is. We don’t even know if he’s a giant or a dwarf. We do know he has an incredibly wrinkly face and my bets are that he’s at least 800 years old. Or spends way too much time in the bath.
3. Supreme Leader Snoke is actually (a seriously old) Darth Plagueis AND Anakin’s father.
Two predictions for the price of one. Don’t say we never give you anything! Up until this point, Anakin’s father has remained a mystery. Emperor Palpatine tells Anakin that Darth Plagueis had insane powers, and could even create life from nothing using the Force - which up until this point seemed to be exactly what happened to Anakin. Though Palpatine also told Anakin his father was dead, which throws a small spanner in the works....
4. Kylo Ren follows his grandfather’s redemption arc.
Yawn. Not my favourite potential outcome, but it's pretty likely. Ren seems to regret killing Han Solo and and we bet he isn’t able to pull the trigger on Leia. In the trailer, we see him bashing his grandfather’s helmet against the wall, but is that because he finds out Darth Vader went soft at the last minute or because he can’t find enough darkness within himself to kill his mother? A way more interesting storyline would be if Kylo Ren was a double agent for Luke. Think Snape in Harry Potter.
5. Yoda will reappear as a hologram.
If not in Episode VIII, then in Episode IX. But we’re not ready to say goodbye to the little dude just yet.
6. Rey will briefly turn to the dark side.
In the trailer it seems like Luke refuses to train Rey because her powers are too strong, so she turns to Kylo Ren. Is she the great power Yoda warns Luke about in Episode V?
7. Actually, wait. Maybe Luke will.
OK, we can't decide. Perhaps prediction 5 is misdirection (the bit where Rey seems to ask Ren to train her definitely looks like it’s cut from two different scenes), and it will actually be Luke that goes dark. But then why would he have exiled himself to an abandoned island? In The Last Jedi poster, Rey drives a lightsaber between Luke and Kylo Ren. It's probably too crazy a twist, but it would certainly be an interesting shift if Luke represented the dark side and Ren the light.
8. Rey and Ren either work together or fall in love.
We couldn’t decide. They could also be siblings or cousins… the possibilities are endless. In a saga with so many complex family trees and daddy issues, we wouldn’t be surprised if Rey and Ren are somehow related, work together and then fall in love.
9. A Skywalker will lose a limb.
First Luke, then Anakin... our bets are on Kylo Ren ending up with only one arm, or perhaps even a missing leg.
10. The mysterious “Knights of Ren” are Jedi in training.
Rey sees the Knights of Ren (led by Kylo Ren) in her vision, so we don’t know for sure whether the clip is from the past or the future. We’re told Kylo Ren killed Luke’s other students, but what if he was able to convert them to the dark side? Another outlandish theory is that Luke himself sabotaged the academy as he was unable to stop his students falling to the dark side.
11. Obi Wan is Rey’s grandfather.
Everyone is obsessed with Rey’s heritage because she used the Force without any training. The most obvious (and boring theory) is that she is Luke’s daughter. She could even be Han Solo and Leia’s, which makes sense because her power rivals Kylo Ren’s, she's an expert pilot and she intuitively knew her way around the Falcon (which was on her home planet). But it would be pretty weird if Han and Leia failed to recognise their own child. Plus, there was no mention of them having a missing daughter.
Our bets are with Obi Wan. For proof, check out this insane 30 minute video, but in summary - both use the Jedi mind trick on a Stormtrooper, have British accents, save a droid carrying important information, walk through hologram maps, fight in the rain and hand Anakin’s Lightsaber to Luke. Plus, during Rey’s vision, we hear the voices of both Obi Wan actors…
12. The film will gross over $2bn.
Want more Star Wars content? Read our wisdom-filled Jedi Guide to becoming a tech mentor and watch your software developer padawans rise to fulfil their technical destinies.
2. Not 100% sure that fairies don’t exist
3. Looks at every dog in the street as if she’s going to kidnap it
4. Only learned how to open a bottle of wine at 25
5. Could be a pro bumper car driver, but isn’t in it for the money